Over the weekend, just about everyone in the bicycling-blogosphere jumped on a comedic band-wagon via Twitter by making ironical statements lampooning the double-standard that exists between mindsets of cycling vs. driving, and the understood importance of the infrastructure designed for each. Some were light-hearted cultural observations, others rightly went for the jugular. All were deadly accurate, as many truths are spoken in jest.
By simply replacing the word ‘Bike‘ with the word ‘Car‘, typical excuses for why cyclists are bad people, or why cities can’t afford better bike infrastructure were suddenly made absurd, if they weren’t so already.
Have a look below at some of the sharpest entries.
“I’d drive to work more if my employer incentivized driving.” #ReplaceBikeWithCar — Sheila Fitzgerald (@ricedream) April 6, 2014
I’m proud to donate to the Community Driving Center, helping kids get an early and safe start to driving. #ReplaceBikeWithCar — Ron (@TelemachusRome) April 6, 2014
Buzzfeed: “The 15 Essential Pieces of Gear You Need to Buy Before You Commute by Car.” #ReplaceBikeWithCar — Brooklyn Spoke (@BrooklynSpoke) April 5, 2014
You’re not a member of the League of American Drivers? You should be! They’re working for a Car Friendly America. #ReplaceBikeWithCar — Mary Lauran Hall (@MaryLauran) April 5, 2014
@MayorofLondon bans riders of red and blue bikes from central London on alternate days because of pollution #ReplaceBikeWithCar — david dansky (@FixedFun) April 5, 2014
Driving my car is not only a good stress reducer, it’s great exercise, too! #ReplaceBikeWithCar — John Lloyd (@boyonabike62) April 5, 2014
With only 2% of journeys by car, inquiry set up called get Britain driving. It suggests covering roads with rubber tar #ReplaceBikeWithCar — James Avery (@Manifietso) April 5, 2014
I don’t oppose car lanes — I drive a car myself, actually — I just don’t think it’s safe to put one on my street. #ReplaceBikeWithCar — Stephen Miller (@miller_stephen) April 4, 2014
You drive a car? Car drivers sure break the law a lot. The other day, someone in a car ran a stop sign on my street! #ReplaceBikeWithCar — Emily (@erpurc) April 4, 2014
Motorists involved in collisions should not be treated unless they were wearing helmets and flameproof suits #replacebikewithcar — Gary Roubaix Dawes (@gazza_d) April 6, 2014
I’ve got to start car-ing into work. The bike parking is getting too damn expensive #replacebikewithcar — Shared Roads, Land (@AGFchairman) April 6, 2014
Driving is not just good for the planet, but also supports local economy & reduces trade deficit by importing cars & oil #ReplaceBikeWithCar — Samantha Davis (@sammydavisjrjr1) April 6, 2014
You put 3years old in the back of your car?! I only take my kids driving in the park @stephenhodgeaus #ReplaceBikeWithCar — Sara Stace (@sara_stace) April 6, 2014
It’s terrible when any accident occurs, but drivers must know they’re going to lose. It’s just physics. #ReplaceBikeWithCar — Catherine Holloway (@femion) April 6, 2014
We just don’t have enough money in the budget to build a car lane. #ReplaceBikeWithCar — Kari Schlosshauer (@galavantista) April 5, 2014
Car drivers have not killed a pedestrian in NYC for 5 years. #ReplaceBikeWithCar — Keegan Stephan (@KeeganNYC) April 5, 2014
How will you guarantee these car lanes won’t gentrify my neighborhood? #ReplaceBikeWithCar — Conor Semler (@ConorSemler) April 4, 2014
“The controversial car lane claimed an entire lane of traffic.” #ReplaceBikeWithCar — Mary Lauran Hall (@MaryLauran) April 4, 2014
Car drivers are always in the way. #ReplaceBikeWithCar — Brad Harder (@bcharder) April 6, 2014
What about dumb-ass MOTORISTS who think rules don’t apply to them. Eff Motorists and their better than world attitudes. #ReplaceBikeWithCar — Erik Griswold (@erik_griswold) April 6, 2014
@MaryLauran @BrooklynSpoke @ellyblue Hey, do you have a recommendation for a good women specific designed car? #ReplaceBikeWithCar — bikeyface (@bikeyface) April 5, 2014
.@ellyblue I’ll illustrate by taking intimate photos of women in their cars without their knowledge or consent #ReplaceBikeWithCar — Kidical Mass DC (@KidicalMassDC) April 5, 2014
I hate waiting at lights breathing all the toxic bike emissions #replacebikewithcar — Sam Goater (@biketowns) April 6, 2014
I couldn’t resist adding my own bit of snark.
It’s about time drivers start paying for the roads that cycling taxpayers provide them. #ReplaceBikeWithCar
— Hart Noecker (@HartNoecker) April 5, 2014
Not to be outdone, a #ReplacePedestrianWithCar hasthag started up shortly there after.
Police still investigating cause of the ‘accident’ but car was wearing dark paint & not in a marked crossdrive. #ReplacePedestrianWithCar
— Pedestrian Error (@PedestrianError) April 6, 2014
The world of bike/ped advocacy must keep using more humor like this if it’s going to breach its own esoteric bubble of wonk rhetoric. Personally, I’ve found much success with firing shots across the bow of the auto-centric American mindset. Some advocates have criticized this kind of approach as divisive, but if they can appreciate the humor showcased above, then surely we’re more on the same page as they’d like to believe.
Got a favorite #ReplaceBikeWithCar tweet you didn’t see above? Post it in the comment section below. Cheers!
See you in the Tweets!
fabulous work. thanks!
Much obliged, Reverend.
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