The 40 Funniest Ways Self-Driving Cars Will Fail Fucking Hard

I’ve made it no secret I loathe the very idea of self-driving cars. The techie nerds can wax poetic about how mapping and apps and laser-guided whatever will ensure our streets will be safer, cleaner, less congested places where human error is no longer a factor in the 40,000 car-caused fatalities in the US each year.

Sorry, but I don’t buy it. This is another Titanic – smaller, sinking slower, but sinking everywhere all at once. We don’t need Green Cars or Smart Cars. We need better transit, we need more bikes. We need to start fucking walking.

I’ve read so many goddamn CityLab and NextCity and HuffPoGreen articles about how self-driving cars will rescue us from the consumer dystopian future we’re so sure will come to pass I could puke. Apparently, somebody out there has had a similar reaction.

Published all in one afternoon, the fine folks (or folk?) behind the Queen Anne Greenways Twitter account mercilessly mocked the zeitgeist hype of driverless cars, hilariously imagining all the ways these computer-controlled autos could – and likely will – actually fail.

Below in their entirety, in order, The Doomsday Self-Driving Car Scenario List.

So there it is. Many truths are spoken in jest, and the truth is this: automated automobiles will be in many ways an even bigger disaster than human-controlled cars have already been. The future demands we stop trying to fix problems with bigger problems.

See you in the streets.
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Four self-driving cars have crashed in California, report reveals

Several of the 48 self-driving cars on Californian roads have crashed Some were operated by Google, with another car being an Audi But both companies said their cars had not been at fault in the accidents Most of the crashes were caused by human drivers in the car In both the UK and the US, policy makers are in the process of changing legislation to allow self-driving cars to be used on public roads commercially.

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